Resetting in the New Year
/Resetting In the New Year: And How Journaling Can Help
Written by Kaitlyn Pfiester
Although January has come and gone, many of us are still coming to terms with the onset of the New Year and the continuing challenges it will undoubtedly bring along with it. From the pandemic possibly ending and finding our place in the new normal to the everyday struggles that are simply a part of life, there’s a lot on our plate this year.
So how do we clear our heads of fear and anxiety to make room for new hopes and possibilities?
Processing the Heartache of 2021
For many of us, the past two years have been the most challenging years of our lives. Most of us are trying to close ourselves off from the happenings of 2021 to move on. Unfortunately, moving on is like filing last year’s taxes. To truly forget about them and relieve that bit of New Year stress, you must endure the necessary evil of filing them. Otherwise, if you wait too long, the IRS will be on your doorstep, which is every adult’s nightmare!
Similarly, suppose you ignore the stress and hurt from the past year for too long. In that case, instead of the IRS, you may find yourself living in fear of those hurtful things happening again. If those feelings are left to sit in the back of your head untreated, they can often create anxiety or depression. Over time, these conditions could worsen and lead to various issues, including substance abuse, phobias, and other mental problems. This is why it’s essential to learn about processing, what it looks like, and about some of the tools for going about it in a healthy manner. The primary coping mechanism we will cover here is journaling and how it can help to process complex situations. Still, we’ll cover a few other things as well.
What does processing emotions look like?
Processing is about coming to understand your emotions and learning to cope with difficult things productively and healthily.
It’s important to remember that processing looks different for everyone. The key is learning how you cope with hard things. Therapy is a great place to start! For many, talking to someone helps air out different emotions–complicated and not so complicated, but here are a few other ways that may help as well.
1. Creativity
Creativity is at the heart of every human being. It grounds us in the here and now. Practicing creativity can be done in obvious ways like painting or sculpting. But, it can also show up in things like computer programming, cooking, stargazing, gardening, and many others! Engaging in these activities can create a healthy distraction, allowing you to give your heart and mind a break while also gaining some distance. Because while time doesn’t heal all wounds, it can certainly help. If you’re having trouble finding a way to be creative, think back to your childhood. What did you enjoy? Legos perhaps? Or maybe an old video game? Don’t be afraid to try something “childish.” Reconnected with that part of yourself can be an excellent tool for healing.
2. Self-Care
Self-care goes hand in hand with creativity. Take some time to yourself in a way that is relaxing to you, and allow yourself the space to sit with the hard things of last year. Don’t try to rationalize these events too much, however. Sometimes the best comfort is simply acknowledging that something was difficult. Releasing emotions by crying can also be a form of self-care. Be careful with this, though. Sitting with difficult things for too long can be triggering and exhausting. Take the process at your own pace, and remember that healing takes time.
One fun way to release emotions with your friends, by yourself, or with your spouse is to go to a Rage Room! Typically you pay for an hour or so in one of these “Rage Rooms”, and they give you items to destroy. From throwing glass mugs at the wall to smashing a car door with a hammer, these Rage Rooms are a great place to take out any pent-up anger and frustration safely. And it’s a lot of fun too!
3. Journaling
This is one of the best ways to cope on a day-to-day basis. Writing out your thoughts and emotions gives them a space to be validated–real. It’s a form of creativity and self-care all in one. A 2017 study showed that of 63 recently unemployed professionals, those who wrote out their emotions surrounding the loss found new jobs much faster than those who either didn’t write or simply didn’t write about the hardship.
If you’re not sure where to start, here are a few simple prompts to get the ball rolling:
If you took the advice of the last point and went to a Rage Room, write a paragraph about how that felt.
List 3 things you wish you could have accomplished in the past year.
Write a paragraph on what you wish would have happened in 2021, reflect on it, and allow yourself to grieve.
Write a paragraph on what emotions you feel when you think about 2021.
List 5 good things that happened in 2021.
Be sure to try the last one before finishing your journaling session. While it’s clearly beneficial to think and write about the hard stuff, reminding yourself of the good can keep your mind from staying stuck on events you wish would have happened differently.
Assessing where you are in the present
One of the most forgotten parts of processing is assessing where you are right now, at this very moment. As a culture, we get so caught up in the difficulties of the past and our hopes for the future that we forget to pause and check in with ourselves.
Forget the New Year's resolutions-for now.
To start reconnecting with ourselves, the first thing you will do is throw out that long list of New Year’s resolutions you’ve been holding on to. This may seem counterproductive, but you must understand that in order to one day achieve those goals, you must take the time to care for yourself first.
Take note of your feelings and name them.
Naming your emotions throughout the day will help you track them back to their source. This is crucial because you must know where each feeling is coming from to make things right or at least make peace with the situation. For example, you may be feeling anger at your sister for skipping Christmas dinner to be with her boyfriend’s family in another state. Still, if you think about it, you are actually afraid of your sister moving away and losing the bond you have. Discovering where each emotion comes from is where the real work begins. A therapist can be highly beneficial in identifying secondary emotions (like anger) and their root causes (fear of losing your sister). Knowing this, you can now talk to your sister about why you felt angry, and she may be able to reassure you that no matter how far she moves, the two of you will always be close. Unfortunately, you may not always get that type of closer. In that case, it will be up to you to come to terms with the fact that it is out of your control. But now that you know where the emotion is coming from, you can process and accept that deeper hurt.
Use a journal.
If you feel comfortable, take out your journal. Again, please don’t use this as a way to replace professional help, but rather as another tool to help in the healing process.
Warning: Diving deep into past hurts can be extremely triggering. If you don’t feel comfortable trying this alone, please reach out to a trained professional for help!
Start by listing the emotions that the difficult situation brings out in you. Now think back further. Where might these emotions have come from? Where did you first notice them show up?
If writing about that particular hardship is too difficult, give the prompts below a try instead.
-What is each part of my body feeling right now? Are you tapping your feet? Playing with your hair? Start with your toes and work your way up.
-What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Anger, Sadness, Happiness, or Fear?
If you aren’t feeling anything, it could be a sign of depression. Journaling can help with this as well, but again, please don’t use journaling as a way to replace professional help.
Here are a few prompts if you think you may be struggling with depression.
-Describe the numbness of depression to someone who has never experienced it.
-When was the last time you remember feeling a strong emotion? What was that emotion?
Building Dreams For The New Year
Now that you’ve worked on processing 2021 and have assessed where you are in the present, it’s time to take a deep breath. The best thing you can do now is to continue working through the things you’re struggling with and take care of yourself as you look towards the future. Remember that these things take time—lots of it. With a stable foundation in place, you can now pull that extensively long list of New Year’s resolutions back out!
Let’s do a bit of dreaming…
Take out your journal and write out what you would like to do if money and life responsibilities weren’t an issue. Allow your mind to wander, dream as big as you can dream. Do you want to start your own business? Learn to knit a king-size bedspread? Perhaps you want to save money to take your kids on a Disney cruise or pay off your student loans.
Whatever it may be, challenge yourself to fill at least one whole page with possibilities–no matter how outlandish some of them may seem. Now, take that list and pick out one big goal (starting your own business) and two or three smaller goals (like learning to knit or sew). Make a realistic plan for how you will incorporate them into your life. But don’t overwhelm yourself! An excellent place to start is by pulling out your calendar and scheduling time to dedicate to those things each week. It’s better to achieve one thing you really want than to pile too much on your plate and not accomplish any, something we are all guilty of.
Remember to breathe!
One great habit to incorporate into your everyday life is a short breathing exercise to clear your mind and focus on your goals. You can do this the moment you get up in the morning, at your desk at work, or anytime you feel a bit stressed out.
Take a deep breath through your nose and count to three.
Then let it out through your mouth, counting to three once more.
Repeat this three or four times, or until your muscle begin to relax and your mind clears.
Conclusion
By now you’ve made (at least some) peace with your past and have made a solid plan for the future; emotions are likely flying high as you plan and scheme for this next year. Enjoy it! Half the fun in this life is wondering what is yet to come.
A few things to remember in the New Year:
Unfortunately, no matter how hard we try, not everything will go according to plan, and that’s okay! The best thing to do is learn how to adjust your goals based on where you are on any given day. Change isn’t failure; it’s just that–change.
Because the New Year can be so chaotic for many of us, one of the best ways to stay on track in our healing journey is to attend therapy. At Sacred Art Counseling, we’re here to help you build a better, healthier life for yourself.
We are well equipped to help you along your journey, specializing in many different areas, including trauma, PTSD, depression, and much more! Let us know how we can help you on our contact page, email us at info@sacredartcounseling.com, or give us a call at 262.358.4459.
We can’t wait to hear from you!
P.S. Don’t forget to bring your journal!
